Staying Alive
by Royalistic
Summary: A original multi parter. Jill's gravely ill and Gordon rushes to her, "He doesn't want for much, nor was he religious. But he asked for one thing. For her to stay alive."
1. Staying Alive

A/N:: Once, in every show, there comes a fic like this… (ok I'll stop listening to spamalot!). No seriously, I love a weepie every now and again. And listening to the Hamilton mixtape, there's a song which really got me. (you can guess which). Tissues at the ready! It's to be a stand alone fic, and an original piece. Enjoy!

"Where is she? Where is she?" His raised voice prompted the staff to look up from their desk. His arrival was expected, and he desperately required an answer.

"I'm Sister Robertson, please, follow me sir.." Following the young sister through the maze of corridors, they arrived at casualty.

"Before I show you in, I will warn you, your wife has lost a lot of blood, the doctors are still trying to stabilise her before they go to theatre." Her injuries were worse than he'd ever imagined. They'd managed to shield him from the truth. They didn't need to add him to their patients.

After hearing that, he peered through the small glass window. He couldn't see much for doctors, nurses and machines. He could barely see anything at all.

"Is she conscious?" The sister shook her head, but pushed the door open for Gordon to enter, which he did, albeit slowly. The sea of medical staff parted, allowing Gordon to take a look at his wife, who, even though she was littered with tubes and wires, he recognised straight away.

As he got closer, he took a deep breath, looking at each doctor he passed. He counted at least 4. That meant things were bad. Very bad indeed.

"We're doing everything possible Gordon, but her condition is very serious."

"Thank you." He took her hand in his, and ran his finger over her wedding ring, The ring he spent ages searching for. It had to be perfect.

He knelt down beside her, and whispered in her ear, he knew she could hear him. He knew.

"Jill, it's me. It's me love. You're going to be ok, everything's going to be ok, you'll see. I'm not going anywhere. Please, just stay alive. For me. Just stay alive. That's all I ask. Please Jill. Please?" He felt a hand on his shoulder, it was an older man, a doctor. He tapped his shoulder twice, in a bid to get Gordon's attention.

"Gordon. Gordon…" He recognised the voice. It was someone he knew. He turned and looked up, and yes, there was a familiar figure towering above him, a person he knew all too well.

"Mr Rose."

"They're ready in theatre now. Gordon… " He nodded, and stood, still looking at Jill, brushing her hair away from her eyes. There was a tube helping her breathe, a machine doing it for her.

"Ok.. I won't stop you. Just do what you have to do." He let go of her hand, and watched desperately as she was taken away, Mr Rose following behind. He knew that, with Mr Rose overseeing proceedings, she was in safe hands. Very safe hands.

"Stay alive. Please…" He whispered to himself, hoping his words would travel the corridors to her. He didn't want much. He wasn't religious. All he wanted was for her to do one thing.

Stay alive.


	2. A dangerous game

He'd been shown to a small room, where he could do no more than wait. Wait for news, wait for an absolution. Wait for an outcome. The longest wait.

The room was dull in décor. Posters on the walls (that were also on the walls of his surgery), fresh purple flowers and a sofa which had seen better days. There was a table in the corner, on which lay some old magazines. Nothing inspiring.

The view from the window, however, was better. It looked out onto a walled garden, not as nice as the one at The Royal, but pleasant none the less. He could see a couple of patients enjoying the sun, accompanied by their nurses. Nothing he'd not seen before.

Except this wasn't his hospital.

He wasn't at work, he wasn't ruling his kingdom.

Instead, he was like anyone else, pacing up and down, anxiously waiting for news. Hoping for the best. Fearing the worst. He had no idea how it'd go. He hoped she'd find some strength. Something that she could use to fight her way through, yet he knew there was only so much the human body could withstand before deciding it'd had enough.

He'd heard a knock on the door, and in walked a young nurse, holding a cup of tea, which she placed on the small coffee table.

"Here, I've brought you a cup of tea. Hope it's ok for you. Is there anyone I can call for you? Someone to sit with you?" Gordon turned towards her, and paused. Was there anyone? Jill's family were back in Liverpool, they wouldn't get here for hours. Did he want anyone? He nodded, as a name popped into his mind.

"Erm… there is someone. Jill's brother is coming tomorrow to stay, he's in York" The young nurse handed him a piece of paper to write the details down on, in the hope he'd respond.

"I'll ring him, see if he'll come." She looked at the piece of paper that Gordon had handed back to her, making sure she understood his untidy handwriting. Thankfully, she did.

"Thank you. She'll be pleased to see him I'm sure." The nurse smiled and left, leaving Gordon alone once more, with a cup of tea which was slowly turning cold.

He'd sat, then stood and looked out of the window for a bit, then returned to his now cold mug of tea, unable to concentrate his thoughts, Hoping for news. Wanting to know something. Anything.

He'd become obsessed with the clock on the wall. Watching the hands move in a rhythmic manner, watching time go by, albeit rather slowly. Too slow for his liking. One hour passed, then another half hour. The young nurse came back, raising Gordon's hopes.

"Mr Ormerod… I've managed to get hold of James. He'll be about half an hour, I didn't tell him too much." Gordon raised an awkward smile, and thanked her for her efforts.

"And Jill… how is she?" He crossed his fingers, hoping for something positive.

"The last I heard was that there have been some complications, but they've managed to get control. She's still in theatre" That last sentence. She's still in theatre. That meant she's still alive. Still fighting, barely.

He held onto what the nurse said, and it hardly filled him with confidence. Complications. Plural. Could mean anything. Jill's not making things easy, which was most unlike her. Yet she had no say. No control. A dangerous game.

He'd closed his eyes momentarily when the door opened once more, and a uniformed figure stood in the doorway, his brass buttons shining, the polished black shoes looking wonderful.

"Gordon? Gordon?" He walked over to him, and sat down on the chair opposite. Gordon looked up and saw James, who then looked down at the floor.

"What happened Gordon? What happened to Jill?" Gordon looked up, and took a deep breath, composing himself before telling James about the events leading up to where they were now. The whole story.

"Ok, thank you. Who's with the children?"

"My next door neighbour, she's staying with them tonight. They're fine." James nodded, removing his cap, placing it down next to him.

The two men sat, in silence, not knowing what to say to each other, united in their concern…


	3. A broken wing

The clock continued to tick, Gordon had resorted to clock watching (which was slowly sending him to sleep), and James was sat staring at the floor. Neither knew what to say to the other. The silence became crippling, and someone had to say something.

"How long has it been?" James asked, forcing Gordon to look up at him. "Nearly 3 and a half hours."

"Can't be much longer surely?" Gordon shook his head. "No. I hope not."

The icebreaker worked, as the two men began talking again, hoping it'll make time go quicker.

"I erm… was looking forward to seeing Jill. I could've written but I thought It'd be better to tell her in person."

"Tell her what? If you don't mind me asking?"

"I'm getting married. In September, and Jill would've been the first person I've told. I want her to be a big part of the wedding. I just didn't plan it to happen like this." For the first time that day Gordon smiled. He knew that Jill would be happy for him. Very happy.

"That's wonderful news. Jill will be delighted. Congratulations!"

The new found happiness was shortlived, when the door opened. In walked a young nurse, accompanied by an older doctor. The nurse closed the door behind her, the doctor had a serious look on his face. Didn't instil much confidence.

"Gordon, I'm Dr Cameron, I operated on your wife…" Gordon stood, bracing himself for the worst. James stood behind him, introducing himself also.

"How is she? The nurse mentioned complications…" The Doctor nodded, sitting down, Gordon sitting too, James next to him.

"Yes.. There were some complications, which we managed to get to quickly. The accident has caused some significant damage, she lost 6 units. However, the operation went well. She's on the ward, we've sedated her for tonight. We're planning to bring her round in the morning."

"Will she recover… I mean, will she be ok?" James asked, trying to understand what was being said.

"Yes, she will but I must stress it will be a long recovery. It won't be easy for her. "

He looked at Gordon, then awaited the doctor's reply, hoping it'd be the right answer.

"Of course. But not for too long, you can see her for longer tomorrow. She'll be awake then. Nurse Morgan will take you down." They thanked him, and followed the nurse down the corridors, past darkened rooms, desperately trying to remember the way for their visit tomorrow. Eventually, they reached the ward, where all but a couple of patients were asleep. A nurse sat in the middle, swamped by patient notes. A fireplace divided one side of the ward, and Jill's bed was right next to it, shielding her from prying eyes on one side. The patient next to her was an elderly lady, who was sleeping soundly.

The two men stopped just short of Jill's bed, Gordon's face full of concern, James looking at her, like he did the last time he saw her in a hospital bed. A situation he hoped he'd never have to relive.

Gordon walked over to her, and sat down on the chair beside her. He took her hand, and leant toward her, whispering in her ear.

"Jill darling… it's me. It's not often I can't think of what to say, but you've given us quite a fright. You have a good night's rest, and I'll see you tomorrow. I love you so much, goodnight my darling." He kissed her lightly on the cheek, doing his best to avoid the tubes and wires that were so very important. The monitor beeped at regular intervals, which drew Gordon's attention. The numbers made perfect sense to him, it showed him that all was well.

He reluctantly walked away, allowing James, to see his sister, who he hadn't seen in a while. Gordon smiled at him, and patted his shoulder, his way of saying 'it's ok'. As James walked up to her, he turned back to Gordon, who smiled once more.

As James sat, brushing her hair away from her eyes, he took a deep breath before speaking, Gordon watching on, trying his hardest not to cry.

"Hi sis.. Didn't think I'd be doing this again eh? Once was enough for me. Anyway… I need to tell you some wonderful news, so I need you to get better. So does Gordon. He needs you too. Anyway, you sleep well, and we'll see you in the morning."

He squeezed her hand, and stood up, still holding her hand. Reluctantly he let go, and smiled, making his way back to Gordon.

"Come back tomorrow, visiting hours are 9 till 12, then 3 till 8pm. You both need some sleep, We'll make sure you are the first people she sees when she wakes, but first.. Get some rest." Gordon nodded in agreement, feeling much happier now he'd seen her.

The two men left, and began walking out, trying not to disturb anyone else.

"Come back to ours tonight. The spare room's all ready, for as long as you need. " James smiled, and thanked Gordon for his generosity. They made their way out, realising they'd be back here in just a few hours from now…


	4. Morning has Broken

A/N:: Ashfordly general is based on a real hospital in my hometown, which is a glorious old hospital, dating back to the 1800's. It retains all it's original features and is exactly how I pictured Ashfordly to be in this fic. I've done plenty of research and I've been fortunate enough to have had a good look round, and that has helped immensely in the production of this fic, and I sincerely hope it does the wonderful old hospital justice.

He looked at the clock. 1am. Just 8 hours until he could see Jill again. There was nothing he could do now, he'd seen her. She was as ok as she could be. She had a team of doctors and nurses watching and monitoring her throughout the night. She was safe.

He'd thought in depth about the events of the day. How he'd gone from waving her off in the morning, finishing her coffee for her (she left without finishing it). To now. Lying in a hospital bed. Sedated, motionless (for now anyway), tubes keeping her from falling even further.

He finally had time to think about all the things that had been said to him, about what had happened, what they had to do.

It was an accident they said. Caused by falling down a flight of stairs. How? Why? He didn't know. A nurse found her at the bottom. Luckily she was attended to rather quickly.

He felt awful. He'd been at a anaesthetics conference in Scarborough, much to his delight. He wasn't overly keen on going, but Jill had insisted. Said he'd enjoy it, might learn something. Alas he was called away rather promptly. Now he was here. Sitting quietly, alone with his thoughts. James was asleep in the spare room, the children asleep upstairs.

He knew he needed to get some sleep, for he'd be no use to anyone if he were tired. Jill knew what he was like if he was tired. She'd also encourage him to go to bed, and she could be quite persistent.

2am. His eyes were heavy, the tiredness taking hold and consuming him quicker than he thought. He'd stayed up late before, sometimes if Jill were working late, he'd wait for her to come home. Only this time, she wasn't. Not for a while anyway. He missed her, more than he ever imagined. Pacing around the living room, deciding whether to retire for the night or not. In the end, after deliberating for some time, he gave in. Turned off the light and headed upstairs, bound for bed.

He cautiously opened the bedroom door, and saw Jill's clothes hanging up by the wardrobe. Her dressing gown on the bed, just where she'd left it that morning, and her bag hanging on the back of the door. He moved her dressing gown to the chair, making a mental note to sort a bag for her, to take in the morning.

6am. He'd managed to get some rest, yet it was more broken sleep. Waking every so often, turning to Jill's side of the bed, then closing his eyes once more. He repeated this frequently through the night, her scent providing some comfort, reminding him of happier times. Not long now.

He slept through till 8am, when the children had begun to get ready for school, and a kind friend had offered to take them and collect them after. One less thing for him to worry about. He nervously packed a bag, putting in things which he thought she might find useful, the dressing gown, night clothes, toiletries, even a small teddy bear that she had as a child. He hoped she'd like it.

With the children fed and on their way to school, Gordon and James could venture back to Ashfordly, anxious to see Jill. There had been no phonecalls to say anything had happened, for which he was grateful, as he always believed no news, was good news.

"I wonder how she is this morning?" James picked up his coat and scarf from the hook by the front door, waiting for Gordon, who had been busy tidying, as he knew Jill hated an untidy house.

"Yes, I hope she slept well." He picked up his keys and coat, and headed for the door, keen to get going.

"Ready?" James nodded, and they headed out to the car, hoping for some good news, as anything would be welcomed. The journey to Ashfordly wasn't a long one, yet it was one Gordon had done many times before. Only this time, it seemed longer, the road neverending….


	5. What about now?

A/N:: the bits in _italics_ are Gordon's thoughts. Enjoy!

They made it with minutes to spare. The hospital looked different in the daylight, patients and staff entering the grand building, the car park filling up, ambulances arriving. The hospital was slowly coming to life. Ready for another day.

Heading inside, the corridors were already filled with people, some waiting for appointments, nurses heading to their wards, doctors holding files and other important documents. As visitors, they merely blended in. No one stopped them or acknowledged their presence.

After negotiating the maze of corridors, hoping they remembered the way from last night, they arrived at the ward. There were men outside, waiting to be let in. They weren't late, after all. Looked like there were plenty of visitors. Gordon tried looking through the small glass window to try and get a glimpse of Jill, but the curtains were drawn.

Matron arrived and opened the doors, and the small crowd soon dispersed, however Gordon and James were stopped by Matron, who recognised them straight away.

"Good morning, I'm afraid the doctor is with Mrs Ormerod now, you'll have to wait." Panic. Was she ok? "Is everything ok?" Gordon asked, trying to remain professional yet calm. James couldn't stop looking at the patterned curtain, trying to work out what was happening. He could detect movement, but nothing definitive.

"Yes, everything is fine. Doctor is just completing his checks, it's quite common to do more frequent checks after surgery." Gordon nodded, as he'd do the same, but he wasn't at work now. He knew the procedures. He understood the science.

"How was she last night? I hope she had a good night?" Gordon's gaze was directed toward the curtain. _Why were they taking so long?_

"I've been told by night sister that she passed a comfortable night. Please try not to worry." _What a silly thing to say. Of course I'd worry. I can't not._

After waiting a seemingly long time (which ended up being 20 minutes), the curtains pulled back, revealing a scene he'd seen too many times before.

2 doctors, a senior nurse and, in the middle of it all, was Jill.

The older doctor, one he recognised, approached them, and handed Matron the notes. He came bearing news. It was Gordon who spoke first.

"How is she?" The doctor looked at them, with a face neither man could work out. Was it good news or bad?

"Your wife is doing well, she's got a slight fever which we are monitoring carefully. The plan was to bring her round this morning, but we're going to wait until this afternoon. Give her more time." More time? This wait is unbearable.

"When?" James asked, trying to find answers to his own questions.

"We'll wait for you to come. It'll be better for her if you are the first face she sees." James was happy with that, he was itching to tell Jill his good news.

"What about now? Can we see her?" The doctor nodded, and moved aside. Nearly 40 minutes had passed. Time, this morning anyway, was precious. They had longer this afternoon, determined to make the most of it.

Walking toward her, still clutching the overnight bag, he smiled. She was sleeping, looking ever so peaceful, completely unaware of what was going on around her.

One of the nurses brought over an extra chair, so they could both sit, and spend time in her company.

"Can she hear me?" James asked, somewhat nervously. He watched Gordon with her, holding her hand, stroking her hair, talking softly to her. His bedside manner was legendary, and something Jill had always admired. He nodded, knowing that, even though she was unaware of things, she could still hear. She could hear everything. That she was aware of.

He listened intently as James spoke to her, albeit hesitantly. He didn't tell her his news, instead saving it for when she woke.

Come on. You can do this. Just a few more hours. You can do this….


	6. In my own time

2.55pm. Now, after what seemed like a lifetime. They strolled into the ward, having been given prior permission by the ward sister. A group of doctors were congregating in the middle of the ward, studying some patient notes. Some of the group, he discovered, were students. The notes, turned out to be Jill's. Notes they were busy discussing.

They found her, sleeping soundly, completely unware of the attention she was receiving. James had brought flowers, Gordon had brought one thing he knew she loved.. His smile, and bedside manner.

Gordon had overheard the group discussing her case, and that they were going to bring her round, albeit slowly. They then approached, accompanied by Matron.

"Will someone tell me now she is?" Gordon asked, forcing the group to acknowledge them.

"Yes, she's still got a slight fever, it's risen a little since this morning, we're keen to wake her now. Her fluids have been increased. It's a waiting game now." Matron nodded in full agreement.

Gordon noticed the tray next to the bed. Needles, syringes, gloves. The sound of the senior doctor putting on the gloves made him cringe. It was never a sound he'd liked very much.

All they could do was watch, and listen as the doctor went about waking her. He explained everything to the students as well as Gordon and James, which was appreciated.

She'd started choking as the breathing tube was removed. James, not having seen anything like it before, found it hard to watch. He looked concerned, not knowing what to say, or do. In the end, it became too much. "I'm sorry…. I can't watch this. I'm sorry Gordon…" and he left, leaving Gordon to deal with the situation alone. However he hadn't seen the ward sister follow James out, hoping to talk and bring him back.

Despite all the commotion, Gordon's gaze hadn't faltered. It was still, as it always had been, transfixed on Jill. The coughing continued, even after the tube had been removed. It stopped after a while, thanks to Gordon's quiet words of reassurance, and rubbing her hand,

"It's ok my darling. Everything will be ok." He'd whispered once more, yet something else caught his eye.

Her eyes began flickering. Once, then again, and again, opening more and more each time. Eventually, after a few minutes, and the students having left to complete tasks elsewhere, her eyes fully opened.

Only the senior doctor and Matron remained, keen to check over their patient, whereas Gordon, was the first friendly face she saw.

"Jill… Jill… I'm here my love." He hadn't let go of her hand, his soothing tones providing much needed comfort. She turned her head to look at him, smiling, nodding.

"Gor… Gordon?" She whispered, her voice hoarse from the anaesthetic and tubes. She tried desperately to speak, but her words weren't coming.

"Sssh… ssh… don't talk now. You need to save your strength. You can talk later eh?" He poured some water into a plastic cup, which he then offered to Jill, in an attempt to help soothe her throat. Helping her to sit up, he encouraged her to take a few sips, which she did.

She didn't say much after that. Gordon's presence was enough for her. So, she closed her eyes, and slept, albeit sporadically. He hoped James would return, as he had such wonderful news to share, yet he daren't leave her. Not for a second. He hoped that sister would entice him back.

Dr Cameron returned, smiling as he saw that Jill was sleeping comfortably. He checked her infusion, and her drip, before sitting down on the chair next to the bed.

"It's nice to see her awake now. I'm monitoring her fever, it happens sometimes after major surgery. She really had us worried." Gordon nodded, placing the back of his hand on her forehead. She was warm, more than he'd have liked.

"Yes. I understand. Thank you." He heard footsteps outside, stopping by Jill's bed. Gordon looked up, and there, stood next to the ward sister, was James.

"Gordon, I'm sorry. I panicked. Is she…?"

"Yes. Yes she is. She has a sore throat so isn't talking much, and she's rather tired, but yes. She's doing well. I haven't told her that you're here. Thought you'd like to do that."

"Yes, thank you. I'm glad she's doing well." James edged closer, smiling, pleased his sister was now awake. The coughing, the commotion had worried him, and he couldn't watch. He'd never even thought of not going back.

All he needed was air, and time to think.

For the next 90 minutes, they sat quietly, watching her sleeping mainly. She'd open her eyes, not for long, before shutting them again, not realising that James was sitting next to her, however she was aware of Gordon's presence.

Supper time. The smell of food filled the ward, and the clattering of plates and cutlery distracted them from their thoughts. Gordon thought Jill wouldn't be up to eating much, if anything at all.

"Gordon…." James whispered, looking down at Jill, who was waking up, tightening her grip on Gordon's hand. Gordon, meanwhile had also nodded off, the lack of sleep catching up with him.

"Gordon… Look.." James smiled at Jill, who had opened her eyes once more, this time looking over at James, who she hadn't noticed till now.

"James… is that…?" She whispered, trying to clear her throat, to no avail. He offered her some water, which she took a few sips of, before handing the cup back.

"Yes… it's me. I've come to stay for a few days." Jill smiled. "Good." She closed her eyes again.

"I think we should leave her to sleep. Pop back in the morning, she might be more awake by then." James nodded,as he too hadn't had much sleep. He'd tell her his news in the morning, if she was feeling well enough…


End file.
